10things What You Must Know Before You Marry

What You Must Know Before You Marry

In reality, there is no "right" age to get married; age is just a number. It takes maturity and the proper relationship to feel like you are ready to commit your life to someone else. You may feel like your age is the most important factor to getting married, but this couldn't be further from the truth. When you're looking for a partner, it's important to be mentally healthy and to check for signs within your relationship that help you identify when you might be ready for marriage.

1. Know What Is Important to You. Ask yourself what values you have. If you're a family person, you may want many children and regular family outings. Perhaps you are more career-driven so you may need to skip children all together or wait until later in life to re-evaluate if you want a family. Maybe you are quite religious and need someone of the same faith. Search within yourself and decide what makes you the person you are.

2.  Make A Relationship Check-List. After you know yourself, you can contemplate what you need out of a relationship in order to move onto marriage. Keep it simple and examine what you value in your friends, family and past relationships. Create a list of what you look for in a partner that consists of must-have, maybes, and absolutely-nots. Your list should be ever-evolving. You should always grow and change as a person, especially while young so your list should reflect that. Don't be afraid to edit your list after a poorly-ended relationship.

3. Determine That You Can Trust Your Partner. Trust is one of the foundations of a healthy relationship. It's important to trust your partner to avoid a constant feeling of paranoia. If you're always worrying about the feeling of oncoming doom, then you can't focus positive energy into your relationship. In order to keep trust strong, keep your expectations clear. Once that bond is broken, it can be a long and slow road to repair.

4.Set A Standard. Everyone is allowed their own standards. Perhaps you need your partner to check in at the end of the night. If this is the case, let them know before they make the mistake of not checking in. If you're clear with your expectations, they can be fulfilled. There are professional standard and many more.

5. Communicate Efficiently and Effectively. Talking to your partner inappropriately can be a kiss of death to your relationship. When communicating, speak up and tell your likes and dislikes honestly. Always treat your partner as you want to be treated. Keep calm and be civil. If you struggle keeping your cool, remember that this is your partner and teammate, not your enemy. Your partner should always want the best for you and it can be relaxing to remember this notion in the middle of an argument.

6.  Fight Fair or Not at All. Give your partner opportunities to explain themselves rather than assuming you know what they are thinking. If you receive an apology, do your best to let go of a grudge. When you're unable to let go of a situation, it's okay to talk about it repeatedly in a calm manner.

7. Be On the Same Page About Family and Friends. Be on the same page about family and friends. discussed with each other. For example, your friend may want to stay out late drinking when you have explicitly agreed with him to be home before 10pm. It's best to check in with your partner if there is any doubt on what to do. Have a mutual respect when disagreeing Your partner is his own person and is allowed to have his own opinions. A sign of a healthy relationship is being able to display a mutual respect when disagreeing, rather than trying control him or force your values onto him.

8.Check Your Desired Lifestyles. Many couples argue about money First, determine how you will divide up all the bills. Next, make a mock-budget and try to stick to it. Discuss what kinds of financial goals are important. Perhaps you want to buy a house but he wants to have a nice car. It's important to identify these differences before it's too late. Look at the levels of cleanliness you find acceptable. For example, you may rub your partner the wrong way if you're a neat freak and they can go a few days without doing the dishes. A chore chart is a convenient way to compromise if you find yourself interested in an individual with opposite living habits.

9. Go to Premarital Counseling. Premarital counseling can help push your relationship through awkward growing pains and move ahead to a successful marriage. Carefully organized and driven, a counseling plan will help address many important aspects such as parenting, finances, religious beliefs and decision-making. Don't let any preconceived notions sully premarital counseling as only for religious couples. Many licensed and qualified therapists offer private counseling catered to your lifestyles.

10. Don't Rush Your Relationship. Marriage is not only a life-long commitment, but a joining of families, income, debt and lives. It isn't a topic to be taken lightly. If you're in a new relationship, a fresh college grad, or still learning about yourself, consider why you want to be married to your partner. It's acceptable to regularly discuss marriage as a topic with your partner to match up your beliefs, but once it's executed there is no turning back.